When we’re irritated with a roommate for not doing “their share”, our problem really is that we don’t see our roommate as better than ourselves. We don’t see a stack of dishes as an opportunity to serve.
We see ourselves as equal or better and we’re irritated our roommate doesn’t understand this dynamic.
When we’re irritated with our husbands because they don’t clean up after themselves, it’s really because we’ve forgotten that we need to consider other people’s needs over our own. We are here to serve not because we’re women but because we are believers.
In a beautiful, healthy, God-centred relationship between two people (roommates or spouses, etc.) it should be a wonderful competition between who can serve the other better. Who can show Christ to one another more? It is so great to see when a wife and husband both get this image from Christ. Relationships are gorgeous when both people in the relationship are constantly asking, “How can I serve you? How can I model Christ’s humility for you?”
Obeying God no matter what is going on is the key to unity with other believers.
Modelling humility and desiring to please the Lord, by following in His servant footsteps is the key to oneness with others.
Self-centeredness is what keeps us from showing the world that Jesus is through our unity.
If we’re upset about something that is not a sin issue, we may need to get over it. “For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God.” (1 Peter 2:19)
We may need to turn the other cheek. “But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:39-42)
We may need to forgive since love keeps no record of wrong “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)
And we can never ever retaliate.
“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23)
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Romans 12:14)
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” (Romans 12: 17-20)
Unity is a miracle. Apart from Christ, we cannot love people who are not just like us; we have a hard time loving people who are just a little different than us.
If we know that we are already truly loved and we are not entering a friendship or a marriage for what we can get out of it, but with only one goal - God’s glory, then we will choose to obey God in the area of relating to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
So, we know who we are in Christ.
We don’t expect people to do for us what only God can do in our lives. We stop thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought. We stop letting other people dictate our behaviour. We’re also called to make sure our brothers and sisters are not living in sin as the Bible says, we're supposed to continue to pray for them and accept them in love.
“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” (James 5: 13 – 20)
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