#95. Relationships Are All About God - Part III

In order for unity between believers to happen, we are going to have to eject some wrong thinking out of our minds about why relationships exist between brothers and sisters in Christ.

The reason why we are not united with other believers is because people hurt us or annoy us. But the problem is, God knew this would happen and He is very clear that not loving or liking people because they hurt us or annoy us is not ok.

God says we are not to show favouritism “But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” (James 2:9). Forgiveness “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13) is something that should define us as believers.

When people hurt our feelings, it’s usually because they are or are not doing something we think they need to do to make us “feel” a certain way.

When people irritate us, it’s usually because we think we do not deserve to be treated the way they are treating us right?

So, let’s unpack our suitcase of dysfunction called “hurt feelings.”

First, let’s remind ourselves that we do not need anyone to make us feel special or loved because we’ve already settled that God completely takes care of that.

Here’s an example:
It’s my birthday. One of my friends does not call me or send me a card in the mail. I’m mad at my friend. She should have called. Now I'm wiping down the counters in my kitchen and planning to go on vacation during her next birthday.
My husband does not write me a love letter when I have said, that is all I want for my birthday. Instead, he buys me a back massager. He says he wants my back to feel better. I secretly think he's sick of me asking him to massage my back.
I’m mad at my husband. He should have written me a love letter that says I'm the best wife ever instead of a back massager.

First, let’s step back and ask a few questions:
Have either of these people sinned here? No.
Believe it or not, it is not a sin to forget to call someone on their birthday. It is not a sin that my husband bought an electronic back massager instead of writing a love letter. Really! I’ve tried desperately to find it in the Bible.
It may hurt my feelings, but those things do not break the heart of the Father.

However, the fact that my feelings get hurt so easily may be sinful.

My feelings and demands that I have for other people to treat me a certain way in order for me to be “happy” may be selfish. If my feelings cause me to sin (be angry, feel depressed, doubt God’s love for me, want to run over my husband), then they are an idol in my heart. If I’m willing to sin to get what I want or because I do not get what I want, my feelings and expectations of others are an idol. By my behaviour, I have shown that my “right” to have my feelings hurt or being angry with my husband are more important than obeying the Lord.