If women were really looking for a one-day marriage that brought God honour and glory, we would not be running after this illusion of romance and love that we are so bent on obtaining.
Running after a feeling, after the drama of a relationship means we are pursuing our own selfish fulfilment. If we were looking at a man the way Christ looks at him and that’s only at his heart,
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
God says He does not look at the things we look at, He looks at the heart. Many of you are passing up a church full of Godly men because they are not good looking enough or wooing you off your feet. They are not making you have goose bumps and hot flashes. They aren’t making you weak in the knees.
One day God is going to judge your husband according to the way He loved you. And do you know what God says husband-love is?
First, let me tell you what it is not.
It is not a love that brings you flowers or remembers your birthday. That’s nice and praise God, it happens but that’s not it.
It’s not a love that makes you feel silly and goofy. That’s nice and praise God, sometimes it happens, but that’s not it either.
It’s not a love that makes you “feel” anything. It’s a love that makes you “look” like something. Jesus.
God says that your husband is supposed to love you in one way with a sanctifying kind of love.
Let's break it down:
God is love. Lost people do not even know how to love if they don't know God. Hence, anything that lost people think about love is probably wrong and distorted.
If we are running after the “love” that we paid $6 - $10 to see on the big screen, we are running after a lie, an illusion.
If after seeing those movies, we find ourselves depressed and unsatisfied, it's because we have just fed our flesh a big plate of trash!
We may need to stop feeding the flesh something that makes us sin (feel sad, lonely, depressed).
Here is what God says about love:
In Ephesians 5, God says husband love is judged in one way.
Did our husband present us as a radiant bride, without spot or blemish? Did he hold you accountable to God’s word even when you were ugly and unteachable? Did he do it even when it made you mad?
This takes a real man. Some men are too wimpy to love like God demands.
Most of you are running after a love that amounts to nothing.
If you are looking for a man who will always make you feel good about yourself, you’re running after a pansy of a man!
Why do you think you need to be in a relationship?
Is it because you desperately want someone to hold you accountable to God’s Word so you can grow even more in your relationship with Christ? Or is it because you are lonely, you want a romance rush or you want someone to make you feel some way you aren’t feeling right now? Remember, we've already settled that those are God’s jobs and He is a pro at what He does.
Are your motives selfish or God-centred?
Marriage is about God taking two people who are busy bringing Him glory with their lives independently and making them one flesh for His glory. Your oneness with your spouse is not how much you giggle, not how good looking you are together, not what beautiful babies you will have, not how great your new last name sounds with your first name. Your oneness is what will bring God glory.
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