#76. A Higher Leap of Faith Within 7 Days

I am thankful that Lord has placed me numerous tribulations in my life since 24 April 2010 when I accepted Christ.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Ever since then, my Christian life wasn’t easy. Even though it wasn’t easy, I accepted it as a blessing instead because through these tribulations, I managed to take a higher leap of faith. Thank God!

Some of the things I always pray are that God will help me to be a good salt and light to the earth, He will use me to bring glory to Him, to always have the mind and attitude of Christ, be a good testament to encourage everyone who comes across in my life. And yes, God answered my prayer. God always answer prayers.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks received; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matthew 21:22)”
“… Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16:24)

Let me share with you what I have gone through recently.

Sometime back, I was hired to work in a well known company. Many friends were really happy for me.

Day 1

When I stepped into the company, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I know that the Holy Spirit in me is telling me that there is something wrong with this company. However, I just couldn’t figure out what it was at that point of time.

A few minutes later, my Associate Director and some of my colleagues were gossiping loudly at one of the colleagues who were about 3m away. I was quite shocked but I am more disappointed by my Associate Director behaviour. She wore a cross necklace (I assumed that she is a Christian). I know that I am no one to judge others. However, her behaviour showed a really bad example as a Christian.

Then, my Associate Director and some of my colleagues told me to always clarify my doubts. After which, my Associate Director gave me a task. I realised that I have some doubts so I went to clarify with her.

Guess what she did after that? She shouted and scolded me. She walked away and a few seconds later, she told me to clarify my doubts if I had any. I went to clarify with her again. And, she shouted and scolded me again. She even called the rest of the colleagues to come and they stood in a line, took turn to shout and scold at me when all I just wanted to do was to clarify my doubts and get the task done. They didn’t even want to teach me. This cycle kept happening for the entire day. I did not give up but plucked my courage to ask them.

I thought I could have lunch out of office and spent time talking to God. However, I had to packet my lunch and eat in the office.

I was in total distress and helpless in my heart. I knew that this is one of the tribulations that I have to face. Without hesitation, I knew I had to pray to God.
Every time, either I just started to talk to God or talking to God halfway, I will be interrupted by someone in the office. I was so desperate to find a chance to speak to God that I went to the toilet. However, even when I was in the toilet, my colleague will knock on my door saying that they want to use the toilet. No matter how many times I tried to find every means to talk to God, I just couldn’t for the entire day in the office. It was a lot worse than you could ever imagine. It may be some sort of spiritual warfare.

Finally, my work ended. I spent a really long time talking to God.

Day 2

I was fearful to go to work. However, God said “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Knowing that everything that happened is what God knows is the best for me, I went to work fearless.

Again, the same things happened to me as day 1.
1. They were gossiping.
2. They asked me to clarify my doubts if I had any. Then when I asked, they called everyone to come and scold me. But somehow with God’s wisdom, I was able to complete my task on time.
3. Someone will interrupt me whenever I want to or am talking to God.

While working, I overheard my Managing Director talking about bible with his client. In short, I know that he is a Christian. What I do not know is whether he is a fervent Christian or just a Christian by name.

My Associate Director would pile up my work and gave me a lot of stress.
She: “It is lunch time now. When are you going to eat? Oh wait. Please finish everything by *insert time*.”
(Indirectly, she wants to eat up my lunch time hour. How could I let her take advantage of me when I have a maximum 1 hour of lunch break right? I stopped my work and went for lunch instead. Then, she was extremely unhappy that I went for lunch. Oh goodness. I am a human like her who needs to eat and rest.)

It was extremely tiring for me from the start of work till the end of work being tortured like this. If I hadn’t accepted Christ, I would have been crying and quitted my job. However, I stood even stronger and firmer knowing that what I am going through now is actually a blessing that God has given me. It was not my own strength but God’s strength in me that I was able to pull it through the day. God has big plans for me, and my entire life has been leading me towards His plan for my life. I know that I need God every second and I lean onto Him completely.

After work, I was able to talk to God for as long as I want. I was uncertain about everything for these two days. I prayed to God on whether I should leave the company, what is His purpose for me to be in this company, to be the salt and light of the company, to give me wisdom to share something about Christianity to anyone and to find time and place to be able to talk to Him while working.

Continue reading and you will see God’s amazing work in me.

Day 3

At the start of the work, I was given a new task to do. I thought I would be able to work on my table.

However, I was asked to work at the staircase located at the end of the office. The staircase was dark, hot, stuffy and with a small window about 15 x 15cm at the top of the wall.

Every few hours, one of my colleagues will go there to smoke. I felt so suffocated. It was as if I am being 打入冷宫 (put in disfavour). I worked there for the entire day.

In my heart, I didn’t felt really good. I couldn’t understand why I am being treated so unfairly. However, it didn't took me long to realise that this is the only place in the office I could talk to God freely and singing songs to worship Him. He answered my prayer. Putting all my unhappiness, I thank God for bringing me here. So what if the working condition is not favourable? To me, it was a blessing.

Finally, the day ended. Thank God for bringing me through the tough times.

Day 4

I had to work at the staircase again. I was working alone there feeling suffocating with the very strong glue smell making me so giddy. However, I still worked happily because I am able to have all the quiet time alone talking to God. Having God in my life is extremely important to me. I definitely cannot live without Him.

The day finally ended. It was only because of God that I was able to end my work through difficult times.

Day 5

While working, I got a lot of scolding when I didn’t do anything wrong. One of my colleagues (let’s call her H) asked me to clean up a dirty area in order for her to work in a clean place which she made it so messy and dirty.

I swallowed my anger and humble myself to do the cleaning. God said: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” (James 1:19)

I heard a lot of gossiping and backstabbing. Somehow it seems to be true that well known company are extremely corrupted.

When I was working, I saw one of my colleagues (let’s call him T) wearing a very big cross necklace. When I saw that, the Holy Spirit in me told me that I need to say something to him about Christianity because I felt extremely uncomfortable when I saw that cross on him. I know that something is wrong and I need to do something about it. (Continue to read and you will know what happen next.)

In the late afternoon, my Associate Director and I have a chat. She was telling me that I might be trained to be one of the key leaders in the company. As we talked, she asked me about my daily personal schedule. I know that I have to remind her about being a good example as a Christian at work. Immediately, I prayed to God to give me wisdom to talk about Christianity to her. And yes, I talked to her about church, bible study, commitments in church and etc. She was shocked and asked me if I was a Christian. I said yes and she told me that she goes to church too.

After the talk, I continued to do my work.

Unknowingly, my day ended. Nonetheless, I thank God for strengthening me and showing His goodness through tribulations.

Day 6

H told me to do some editing for a model. I did everything correctly as to her request. (You must be wondering why I am talking about this. However, on day 7, something happened because of this.)

Let’s fast forward the time to late noon.

My Associate Director told me to have a talk with her at 5.15pm.

At 5.15pm, I went to have a chat with her.
She: “I am sorry but I have to let you go.”
I: “Huh?”
She: “Err…I am sorry to have to break the agreement that we had so early. Err… Hmmm… Ya, I think we have to let you go. Err… I think it is because you are slow. Err… since the agreement stated that there is a one week’s notice of termination from either party, a week later, it shall be your last day of work.” (When she was telling me, she was stammering, looking nervous, keep looking everywhere except my eyes, cross her finger and toying her fingers. On the other hand, I was praying to God to know what to say and I stayed very calm and peaceful. Saying that I was slow is such a lousy excuse to ask me to leave when I did everything on task.)
I: “Never mind, it is ok. I understand. I can forgo about the one week notice of termination. You can just make today my last day of work.”
She: “Oh… Wow… Err… Hmmm… let me check and get back to you later.”
I: “Ok, sure.”

A few minutes later, T told me to go to my Associate Director.
She: “Well… Err… Make tomorrow the last day of your work instead. Go back and typed out a letter saying that the one week notice is changed to a day notice of termination and give it to me tomorrow.”
I: “Ok, sure.”

When I went back to work, some of my colleagues suddenly came to me and asked me what she said. I knew this would happen. Every time I talked to my Associate Director, they didn’t ask about anything. This time, they asked. I just said that it was just some talk with my Associate Director and it’s nothing much. I suspected that they knew about it and wants me to say it out of my mouth. However, I chose not to.

Somehow, work ended. I called Sofia to meet her up because I was feeling quite terrible. For a few seconds, I could almost burst out into tears. Gladly, I held back. I know that it is not worthy to be upset and crying over a matter like this.

Thanks Sofia for being there for me. Thank you for your encouragement and support when I felt like I was at the lowest point in my life.

When I reached home, I told my parent about me resigning. They were angry. However, I was absolutely cool and calm because I know God has greater plans for me. Sadly, I couldn’t tell them this since they still do not know that I am a Christian yet.

Day 7

When I woke up, I wrote a letter to my mum assuring her not to worry for me because this is part and parcel of life and etc. I assured her with Christian encouragement without making it too obvious. I know God is working in me so that my family can see a good change in me after accepting Christ.

Before work, I told myself that I am going to impress everyone there at work and remind them about the faith of Christianity.

Upon reaching work, one of my colleagues was gossiping with my Associate Director about another colleague. This company is extremely political. Goodness grief!

After they finished gossiping, I passed my letter to my Associate Director. After she read, she told me that I should not write it as a resignation letter but a letter that I got terminated. Then, she told me that she will edit it for me.

After a few minutes later, she called me back.
She: “Err…while I was editing, I thought of something. Don’t write it as you were terminated. You write a letter to me that you want to resign instead. I am giving you a choice. It would reflect badly on you if I write it as you were being terminated. However, if you write it as resignation, it would not reflect badly on you. Well, I am giving you a chance to make your choice now. It is up to you to make the decision. See which one you want.”
I: *in my heart, I let you a *tsk** “Oh ok. Then, I shall rewrite you a resignation then."
She: “Ok. Err…Hmmm…If I had not asked you to leave, would you leave?”
I: “I don’t think so for now.”
She: “Ok. Err…”
I: “I want to clarify something. What do you mean that I am slow and asked me to leave? You used less than 6 days to judge me and say that I am slow and then asked me to leave? I don’t understand.” (I felt that it was unfair for me to leave giving such an excuse. I did everything they asked on task and faster than my colleagues. Hence, how on earth am I slow?)
She: (she started to look everywhere except my eyes, crossing her fingers and toying with her fingers) “Err…err…I think…err…*ahem* err…I think…err…it’s because…you are slow…err…it is impossible that you will succeed.
I: “What!? You used less than 6 days to judge me? Never mind. Forget it. I go and write my resignation letter now before you approved.” (In my heart, I felt that the answer given to me was ridiculous. I wanted to further question her. However, I let it go. It is pointless to continue the conversation with her. In my resignation, I still wished them success and prayed for them. In the Bible, it states that: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44))

A few minutes later, my Associate Director asked H to spread around the office saying that today is my last day of work. I was a tad angry. Why must she ask people to spread the message around the office? I swallowed down all my anger. It was really a test of my tolerance.

Yesterday, H told me to do some editing for the model. I followed exactly what she said. Today, she went to check and scolded me for doing the editing. She asked me why I did the editing. When I told her that it was her who asked me to do it, she scolded me even more for blaberring nonsense.

Later, I went to another end of the office to work. T came and we had a conversation.
T: *in an extremely sarcastic tone* Awww!!!!! Aren’t you sad?”
I: “No, I am not.”
T: “Oh are you happy?”
I: “No, I am not too.”
T: *in a pissed tone “What do you mean?”
I: (I know that it is the time to talk about my faith in Christianity since he is a Christian.) “Why should I be sad? Everything that happened is a blessing to me. God knows what is best for me. He knows that this is not the best place for me. I know that He has bigger and better plans for me.”
T: *in an annoyed tone* “Oh please! Don’t tell me that you know what God plans are ok. Do you really know what God plans are for you? Oh please. Since you said it until like this, tell me la. Tell me what is God plan for you now la.”
I: (after hearing what he said, I know that he is just a Christian by name.) “It’s faith. I have faith in Him that He is leading me to something where it is the best for me. I will go wherever He leads me to.”
T: “Whatever.” (T walked away after that. I am glad that I have shared at least something to T.)

After the conversation, I finished my work. I went to H and to get more work to do.
H: “Yes, I have work for you to do. I know that it’s a lowly job to ask of you to do. But please clean up all the dirty area so that it is easier for everyone to work.”
I: “Ok.” (After I said that, I felt so humiliated. There is a cleaner who cleans up the office every day. Why do I have to do it again? I didn’t want to disobey any orders given to me, I want to impress them and I still want to maintain a good relationship with them. Hence, I humbled myself down.)

After cleaning up, I told H. You know what H did next? She went around inspecting! Then, she asked me to re-clean certain areas. Again, I did what she said.

After I finished, another colleague, C shouted across the room to me.
C: “Can you please get a rag and clean up all the tables here now?”
K: “Oh ok.” (Once again, I felt humiliated. However, I know I have to humble myself down and do it. I know that this is the test from God.)

After I got the rag, I went to the tables and saw that the tables were all so clean. Then, C told me to clean them up immediately. I did what I was told to do again.

In the late noon, my Managing Director came in. He went to my Associate Director.
She: “Have you read it?”
He: “I have received it but I have not read it. I do not know.”
I know that earlier on, my Associate Director purposely told me to write a resignation letter and make it seemed like I resigned myself and sent my resignation letter to my Managing Director. I felt so maligned. I have not worked with my Managing Director before so how could he just blindly believe whatever the Associate Director said and did?

Before I left, I went around bidding goodbye. They were all so happy bidding goodbye to me. I know this is definitely the right thing to do – bidding goodbye. I have completed God’s purpose for me being here. I did nothing wrong that is against my conscious so I have no fear. I humbled myself and did everything I was told to do.

I left the office with a higher leap of faith. I trusted and have faith in God that He will bring me through the tough times I have worked there. I regarded everything that happened to me as a blessing. Every day I felt like giving up. However, I kept telling myself to press on because my biggest fear is my biggest reward. I have to fulfill God’s purpose working there before I leave.

I would never have survived through such difficult times without God. I survived through only because I strongly believe that God will never forsake me. I observed everything around me to find answers from God. I kept praying to God till He answered my prayers. I have overcome these tribulations. Thank God for bringing me through.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand why my Christian life is so harsh as compared to my friends. Theirs seems so peaceful and I envy. My friends envy me to be able to go through such tribulations. However, if I am given a life like theirs, I may not like it and vice versa. I must be contented in what God has given me and knowing this is the best for me. I don’t care about how man judges me; I care about how God judges me. I don’t care about worldly stuffs; I care about my rewards in heaven.